On My Mind....

I've been struggling, lately, with what my purpose in life is, I guess I'm kinda wondering what I was created for. My first answer was/is always a wife and mom. But when the day to day gets to me, I tend to think that it can't be enough and start to feel there must be something else.
I try and change my hobbies into what my purpose is, I must be here to sew, take pictures, etc.
I had a chat with someone recently who put things into perspective for me a little. I call her my "almost friend" (go ahead and laugh) because I've only met her once and chatted on the phone with her a few times since. I feel like we could be friends eventually, but I'm not about to throw myself at her and call her my bff, know what I'm saying?! Also, I have no friends here in Augusta yet (sad I know) and when you speak to another adult in person you automatically could think they're your BEST friend...so give me a break, I'm couped up with a three year old all day!
ANYWAY, my "almost friend" is in the same situation as me...almost creepily so; little kids at home, stay at home mom, husband is a surgical resident, said husband is totally into paper writing and research(just like mine) and she's a Christian.
She said that just as her husband was called to be a surgeon, she was called to be his wife.

{picture by Amy Rehbein Photography}
And that sentence has been looping in my head ever since.
I guess that's how I feel about Zach, and why I have made all the "sacrifices" (I put that in quotes because I don't really see them as such, but others might) I have for him.
I'm called to be Zach's wife. Be his helper and do the mundane daily tasks so he doesn't have to. Pray for him while he's at work, and try and be a positive person when he comes home from a 15 hour day....and his 21st day working...IN A ROW (no joke, he's in a stretch right now of 26 days straight with no days off). And being positive and happy is hard after he's been gone so long and so often, let me tell you!
But now-a-days it's not PC to say that your purpose on earth is to be a helper to your husband. You get strange looks and many shakes of the head.
I often hear, "how do you do it?!?" (I am NOT trying to toot my own horn here) and the answer is usually, I just do. But there is more to it than that.
I do it with God's help.
God's the reason I can do it, not to mention the fact that Zach is an amazing guy and is super grateful for everything I do in a day...even if it ends up being nothing. Having a husband who is so supportive of his wife staying home and loves that I take care of Aubrey and the household things, makes a world of difference. AND it makes me want to do more for him. He's an amazing father and husband and that makes it all worth while...even when he's been gone for days on end!

 So, that's what's been on my mind lately. And to be honest? Once I started to think that way, the daily tasks that usually make me want to scream, have become a little easier. And the smile on my face is not forced. With God's help I'll make it through the rest of the 4 and a half years of residency and many years of working to come....and so will Zach ;)


Amy said...

Oh Jen, that was beautiful.
I know that I struggle with a purpose as well. I love that your friend.. (she is your friend! ) said those words to you. You are called to be Zach's wife. his helpmate!
This is a very very important job! This is your purpose right now in life. I am so proud of you. You are an AMAZING wife, mother. child of God. and friend!
i love you Jen. praying for you!

Anonymous said...

I love this! Thank you for the encouragement today! I am a stay at home mom and wifey, too, and although my hubs doesn't work as many hours as yours does, I still get down in the dumps occasionally wishing he could be home more. Even so, I love my job staying at home, wouldn't trade it for the world.

Hang in there in that new town! You'll make friends. 5 years ago I moved to my current city, friendless and jobless with a baby to take care of at home while hubs got to go off to work.
Today, I can't imagine moving and leaving my wonderful friends behind!

Esther said...

sometimes 'pc' stuff has really ruined things in our society. i think it's absolutely beautiful that you recognize and can say that you are called to be Zach's wife. it's a shame that you even felt any hesitation in saying that because of 'society'

Jen said...

Thanks Esther:)

The Cantelmo Family said...

I can SO relate!!! My husband works a lot and it has been a challenge. I love that you said, we are called to be his wife. I need to change my perspective.
Thank you for blessing me today! Hang in there, this is only a season!

Jenna said...

I can relate. What a difference it makes to remember motherhood and being a wife is a calling. That perspective changes everything. :-) I was struggling the other day with "Is it worth it?" because I felt like I do all these seemingly mundane tasks all day long and what was the point. Then the Lord reminded me I am investing in souls. Those meals I make and messes I clean are because of the people I love and He's called me to serve.
P.S. I like the new blog look!

angie on maui said...

Hi Jen,

I am new to your blog (visiting you from Jami's link up) and wanted to say that I think your honesty and willingness to be vulnerable here on your blog is beauitful. I love that you've recognized your partnership with with your husband as your calling; that is a beautiful example of love and committment.

I know what you mean about the "almost friend" category; I still do that and it's not like we just moved here or something!

Sarah said...

Hi :) Jumped over from We Encourage :)

I know what you mean when you say, "you just do." I have 2 yr old and twin 11mo old girls and people ask me all the time, "how I do it". It really and truly is the grace of God :) He is our strength. We are just answering the call :)

Kuddos to you for being such a loving, caring, helpful wife. You are doing a good work! :)

Jen said...

Thanks everyone:) I appreciate all your super kind words and encouragement! Not to mention how nice it is to know that there are more people in the same boat as you!

Marcy said...

Fully agree with Amy! Couldn't say it better myself!
Love you lots!