I've been struggling, lately, with what my purpose in life is, I guess I'm kinda wondering what I was created for. My first answer was/is always a wife and mom. But when the day to day gets to me, I tend to think that it can't be enough and start to feel there must be something else.
I try and change my hobbies into what my purpose is, I must be here to sew, take pictures, etc.
I had a chat with someone recently who put things into perspective for me a little. I call her my "almost friend" (go ahead and laugh) because I've only met her once and chatted on the phone with her a few times since. I feel like we could be friends eventually, but I'm not about to throw myself at her and call her my bff, know what I'm saying?! Also, I have no friends here in Augusta yet (sad I know) and when you speak to another adult in person you automatically could think they're your BEST friend...so give me a break, I'm couped up with a three year old all day!
ANYWAY, my "almost friend" is in the same situation as me...almost creepily so; little kids at home, stay at home mom, husband is a surgical resident, said husband is totally into paper writing and research(just like mine) and she's a Christian.
She said that just as her husband was called to be a surgeon, she was
called to be his wife.
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{picture by Amy Rehbein Photography} |
And that sentence has been looping in my head ever since.
I guess that's how I feel about Zach, and why I have made all the "sacrifices" (I put that in quotes because I don't really see them as such, but others might) I have for him.
I'm
called to be
Zach's wife. Be his helper and do the mundane daily tasks so he doesn't have to. Pray for him while he's at work, and try and be a positive person when he comes home from a 15 hour day....and his 21st day working...IN A ROW (no joke, he's in a stretch right now of 26 days straight with no days off). And being positive and happy is hard after he's been gone so long and so often, let me tell you!
But now-a-days it's not PC to say that your purpose on earth is to be a helper to your husband. You get strange looks and many shakes of the head.
I often hear, "how do you do it?!?" (I am NOT trying to toot my own horn here) and the answer is usually, I just do. But there is more to it than that.
I do it with
God's help.
God's the reason I can do it, not to mention the fact that Zach is an amazing guy and is super grateful for everything I do in a day...even if it ends up being nothing. Having a husband who is so supportive of his wife staying home and loves that I take care of Aubrey and the household things, makes a world of difference. AND it makes me want to do more for him. He's an amazing father and husband and that makes it all worth while...even when he's been gone for days on end!
So, that's what's been on my mind lately. And to be honest? Once I started to think that way, the daily tasks that usually make me want to scream, have become a little easier. And the smile on my face is not forced. With God's help I'll make it through the rest of the 4 and a half years of residency and many years of working to come....and so will Zach ;)